Carabiners and Grown-Up Girlfriends

I am reading this great book called Grown-Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver. Basically it is about finding and keeping real friends in the real world. Why, you might ask… because I have seen this from both sides… both the having and the not having. I have seen what great friends can be for one another, and I have seen how destructive bad friendships can be.

One of the things they talk about is how “women crave relationships innately and are driven to be in relationships” — good or bad — and how during stressful times women tend to congregate together. Like God, we desire to be in relationships, and like Moses, sometimes we need someone to hold our arms up.

I have been in those times… and had those there to help me. I have watched others go through such times with very few around them, and it cripples them. Isolation is not a good thing.

I am blessed with friends who have stuck by me for 18-20 years now, others who I have known a short time, but feel like I’ve known forever. They have walked some dark paths with me. They have laughed, cried, prayed for and with me. They have helped me grow up. I would not be who I am with out them. Any of them.

I talked to some of my friends about their role in my life and how it is something like a carabiner. The carabiner’s significance is its use to fasten the climber’s line to their belayer, or anchor person, on the ground. When the climber loses footing, the belayer steadies them while they regain their hold on the mountain. My friends have held me to the Rock while I fought off insecurity, fear, frustration and anger. They provided assistance, encouragement, sound judgment, prayer and “held the ropes” for me.

If you find yourself isolated, with very little human contact (and I don’t mean through your computer… that’s NOT human contact) pick up this book, find out what you are missing, and find some real friends. They are out there… and they are looking for what you bring to the table!

And to my friends (CA, KC, JG, CH, RH, JR, GR, JS, LT, MV, KW and I am sure there are others I am not thinking of right now, but will come to me soon, so consider yourself here) there are not enough words to truly say thank you for playing the role of a carabiner in my life!


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