I have been doing lots of reading this week… working on a review of Ted Dekker‘s upcoming novel, so I have not been watching much T.V. Tonight, I took some time for a little couch time with my hubby. What I didn’t expect was to stumble across blatant truth in the form of an odd little show.

Last fall there was an intriguing add for a new show… so I tivo-ed it. Flash Forward was a rather interesting concept, has had some fun little twist and turns, and some turns I really wasn’t thrilled with… However, I’ve hung with it, mostly because I tend to REALLY want to finish something once I start… Basically, show is about how the whole world fell asleep (had a black out) at the same time for a little over two minutes at the same time, and everyone had a vision of what they would be doing in 6 months. Then they all woke up and tried to begin to deal with the craziness of their new lives.

Tonight I turned it on, and was messing around on my laptop when TRUTH reached up and slapped me across the head in the form of a scene between two FBI agents. Both are obsessed with their vision (or lack there of) of the future. The man didn’t see anything, and has since learned he will be murdered a month before the visions took place for everyone else. The second is a woman who saw herself having an ultra sound and learning she was carrying a little girl.

The first time I got a little smack, the female FBI agent is in a fertility clinic speaking with a dr. who is trying to encourage her to wait. She replies with the story of her vision, and these words, “I want THAT baby. Not a different baby two years from now…”

The next scene we see her in, she and her friend are talking about being ready to be a mom, and how much she wanted THIS child. The man said something about how THIS child doesn’t even exist yet. She looked him straight in the face and said, “Yes, she does. I know she does. She is out there making her way toward me. I have spent almost every waking moment thinking about who she is going to be. I can’t wait to meet her.” What??? This child, who hasn’t even been conceived yet, and they are saying the child ALREADY exists???

Now, as a woman who has 5 kids, had 5 miscarriages, and carried a total of 13 babies (there was a set of twins for sure and two possible sets) I get what she’s saying. Pregnancy is so different for a man and a woman. For a man, pregnancy becomes real when he can SEE his wife’s belly grow, and FEEL the tiny kicks that ripple across her skin. The baby becomes real when he HEARS the child’s first scream in the delivery room. But for a woman… for her, the baby is real when the little strip she pees on turns positive. That moment, with that breath, she is totally in love with her child. Her world has been flipped upside down. For the man, his world is rocked a little… For her, the world will never be the same.

The thing that shocks me is that they admitted the child who has not been conceived is still a person. How different that is from most things on T.V. where we are told it’s not a baby until it has been born… until then it’s just some tissue for the mother to do with whatever she wants. And yet, here’s a show saying this as-yet-not-conceived child WANTS to live – has places to go and people to see. Wow.

I am reading this great book called Grown-Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver. Basically it is about finding and keeping real friends in the real world. Why, you might ask… because I have seen this from both sides… both the having and the not having. I have seen what great friends can be for one another, and I have seen how destructive bad friendships can be.

One of the things they talk about is how “women crave relationships innately and are driven to be in relationships” — good or bad — and how during stressful times women tend to congregate together. Like God, we desire to be in relationships, and like Moses, sometimes we need someone to hold our arms up.

I have been in those times… and had those there to help me. I have watched others go through such times with very few around them, and it cripples them. Isolation is not a good thing.

I am blessed with friends who have stuck by me for 18-20 years now, others who I have known a short time, but feel like I’ve known forever. They have walked some dark paths with me. They have laughed, cried, prayed for and with me. They have helped me grow up. I would not be who I am with out them. Any of them.

I talked to some of my friends about their role in my life and how it is something like a carabiner. The carabiner’s significance is its use to fasten the climber’s line to their belayer, or anchor person, on the ground. When the climber loses footing, the belayer steadies them while they regain their hold on the mountain. My friends have held me to the Rock while I fought off insecurity, fear, frustration and anger. They provided assistance, encouragement, sound judgment, prayer and “held the ropes” for me.

If you find yourself isolated, with very little human contact (and I don’t mean through your computer… that’s NOT human contact) pick up this book, find out what you are missing, and find some real friends. They are out there… and they are looking for what you bring to the table!

And to my friends (CA, KC, JG, CH, RH, JR, GR, JS, LT, MV, KW and I am sure there are others I am not thinking of right now, but will come to me soon, so consider yourself here) there are not enough words to truly say thank you for playing the role of a carabiner in my life!