I know it could be worse. I understand it’s not the end of the world. I know there are LOTS of people out there dealing with MUCH harder issues… All that knowledge doesn’t make this easier to stomach.

My sweet S has been saying “What?” when I talk to her a lot lately… I figured it was a 3 year old goofing off. One who didn’t want to put her toys away, or pick up her clothes. Then she started telling me she couldn’t hear whatever we were listening to in the van… well, it was kind of low… Next she started standing in front of the TV… I started to wonder if she was having vision issues… Yes, I can be kind of thick…

Then earlier this week it was, rather off-handedly, “my ears hurt.” She’s got her second set of tubes in… when she’s got an infection, I know it because of the “drainage.” Again, I just though she was messing around. Then (really how much should it take before a mom starts paying attention????) a couple of days ago she started jacking the volume on the tv up… and I would make her turn it down… “But I can’t hear it!” You can hear it just fine… I’m sitting right here and I can hear it, so I know it’s not too quiet…

Yesterday, after yet another tv volume jacking, I called her pediatrician’s office. The nurse on call (the one who answers parent’s questions and helps determin if a child needs to come in or if there is something that can be done from home) suggested one of those tubes might be blocked and she should be seen.

Once she is seen, her dr. says those ears look clear… no fluid, no infection… and rather as almost an after thought suggests testing her hearing. Sure I say, thinking this is no big deal… she hears me just fine… after all she answers me, and is very clear when she talks.

His nurse came to take her into the room where they run the test. I packed the other three (the boys are off for fall break this week) up and follow… after all, the door to leave is right there by that room and we will be leaving as soon as this test is done…

G, being a goofy boy, does his best to make noise and be silly while we stand there waiting on the test to be done. I have to get onto him several times. He’s making too much noise and will mess the testing up… probably not, but he really making too much noise to be in the office.

The door opens and S bounces out, followed by the nurse, who looks at me with a straight face, “She failed.” What? “Both ears.” WHAT???? As we head back to the room, my mind fogs over with a million questions, and I can’t even think of one. I do manage to ask by how much, to which I am told they really don’t know. This test is just a pass/fail test. For more information, we must go to an Ear Nose Throat dr. Back to the guy who put the tubes in her ears.

I called them as soon as we got into the car. They have a specialist who will retest her hearing next week. I have to wait until next week to get any kind of answer… so until then I have to wait… and trust God.

This has made me want to hug on her a bit more tightly… and this was very evident this morning. She curled up next to me on the couch when she got up. “I want some milk, Mommy.” Ok, baby, I’ll get you some milk. I hugged and kissed her a bit more. “I want some milk, Momma.” OK, baby, I’m going to get you some. “Then stop hugging on me!” OK, some things just don’t change.