Someday I’ll laugh

It’ll probably be when the girls are, say 21 and 24!

Today I thought  I would do something nice for my family. I found some great looking strawberries and thought I would make some strawberry shortcake. I also thought I would make some chicken soup, since it’s been cold.

Once home and everyone settled I started on dinner. As I looked at the directions on the box to make the shortcake, I thought I would double the recipe. I’ve got kids running everywhere and I’m trying to work out in my head what I need to do. One of the the things it called for was 1/2 cup sugar… I can do that one in my sleep. I measured it out and poured it on top of the mix in the bowl… and then read that it was to be set aside for the STRAWBERRIES and that what should have gone into the mix was a total of 6 tablespoons! Ugh! So I did the best I could to pull sugar out and move on.

Once they were in the oven I started cleaning up and trying to move on to dinner. I had changed my mind from soup to baked chicken and was working on a coating. I took two phone calls. I broke up fights. I pulled the shortcakes out of the oven before they were fully burned. I scooted hungry children who had already had TWO snacks out of the kitchen. Oh, but then my night went down hill…

S came into the kitchen with her rain slicker, trying to wipe an unknown white substance off. “K put medicine on my jacket.” Oh? How did she get the medicine? She can’t reach it… I followed S to her room. Here’s what I found:

kmeds kmeds2 kmeds3

Now for the record, the only reason K is laying down is she would not old still for me to take the picture… she wanted to keep putting her hands in her mouth! Yes, I said in her mouth… they were COVERED with Happy Heinie… a home made diaper rash cream mixed with equal parts Desitin, Lotrimin and Neosporin with a splash of Maalox. Not only did she put them in her mouth… she KEPT putting them there.

I cleaned the girls up (and yes, spanked the older for getting into something she should NOT have been in), put K in the play pen and made S sit on the couch. I got back to dinner… and called the Vanderbult Children Nurses Hotline… I just needed to know how concerned I needed to be. The nurse was GREAT! She asked some questions, thought K would be ok, but she also called poison control just to make sure.

All things considered… K is good, all be it a bit greasey. I REALLY am glad they are all sleeping now. Tomorrow WILL be a better day… it has to be!

Mother rescues eggs

I’m pretty sure that’s how the headline might read. I’m not sure where that visual takes you, but let me back up a bit and try to clear it up for you.

See it all started when I found these cool plastic eggs… they already had pre-wrapped non-nut candy in them! Oh the joy of not sitting down to stuff 60 little plastic eggs (yes… 60… S needs one dozen for her hunt, and each of the boys have been asked to bring 2 dozen for theirs… do you have any idea how long that takes????). Some of the packages had 12 eggs, some had 16… all for $4.50. I bought several different kinds… all total I ended up with 72 eggs and no stuffing!!!!

I also picked up four little metal buckets for the kids… the three older get to take theirs to school for their hunts, and then Ganny will bring more to our house on Saturday for the kids to each do a hunt at the house. We will be swimming in sugar!

Today, I packed S’s little eggs in her bucket… that way they are at school and I don’t have to worry about forgetting them on Thursday… Yay for Mommy planning ahead – maybe I am getting a hold of this Mommy of four thing! Sigh, if it was only really that easy…

We arrived at school, cutting it very close on the time. I got the two girls out, coats on, nap mat in one hand, back pack slung over my shoulder, K on the other arm, and S proudly carrying the little eggs and we start into the church. I got stopped by a grandmother who was worried that someone had left their infant in their car… (it’s 37 degrees… and I think the baby was sleeping, so I’m sure Mom didn’t want to get her out in the cold) but grandma was concerned that it was cold out and the baby would be cold in the car…

She and her grandson headed in and I turned to head into the church again… Come on S! And about that time I heard it… not sure I can describe the sound a metal bucket full of 16 plastic eggs makes as it hits the black top… I turn to find the bucket laying on it’s side and plastic eggs shaped like animal faces bouncing down the hill at me. With not a free hand on my body, I started trying to herd them using the skills all those soccer years taught me. I’m sure I looked more like I was tap dancing though. And every time I had some sort of stopped, and reached for others, the first ones started going again… did I mention we were on the side of a hill? I dropped S’s mat, and pick up 4 or 5 in my one now free hand, and drop them in the bucket. I look back to see S’s mat rolling like a tumble weed across the parking lot… and get stuck under the church van. I look the other direction – my child is running like a crazy woman after these eggs – IN A PARKING LOT!!!!

Now, I am trying to corral plastic eggs and a four year old. “S… come back…” as she runs around the car… thank God all the cars were parked and most of the parents had already dropped their kids off. She comes back around, very stressed, “The pig, Momma, I gotta get the pig.” Oh yippy, said “pig” is now under a car… in the middle, between the rear tires, where she can not reach it. I try… no luck… now I’ve got to put my 16 month old down in the parking lot, crawl under the car to rescue the “pig” and make my child a happy girl.

With all 16 safely tucked back into the bucket we turned and made our way back to the church… passing the mother whoes child was sleeping in the car… so yes, she is fine. And no, S did not spill the eggs anymore. Her teacher, once we got into the class said the title ought to be “Supermom saves eggs!” I don’t know about that… but if there had been a video camera, we could have won the $10,000!

Moments of Panic

I just had a moment of panic…You know, those 10, 15 or even 30 seconds when all you can do is think of the worst things that could be happening RIGHT NOW… Those things that can be life changing – and NOT in a good way.

I was cleaning the washing machine (it’s been a while, and it was gross… how do clothes get clean like that?) and had been engrossed for probably 15 minutes. I then stepped into the kitchen. I looked through my kitchen window (for those who have not been in my kitchen… there is a window over the sink that over looks the living room sitting area) into the living room and couldn’t find K. “Where is she and what is she into?” ran through my head… as did all the messes a 16 month old can make and I was going to have to clean up…

THEN I remembered… I put her in the play pen, which by the way is UNDER the window and out of my line of sight…

Go ahead, laugh, I am… NOW… 😉


Memories of the Road Monkeys

Driving down the interstate today the car ahead of me drifted a little too far to the right. Those little grooves in the road hollered, and he pulled back, but that noise pulled me back about seven years.

J was about two. I was traveling with my Mom to visit her house for a week. That’s a nine hour drive… when you are not traveling with kids. I honestly do not know how long we had been on the road. All I remember for sure is Mom was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat… J was in the back in his car seat, quiet for the moment.

Some how Mom moved a bit too close to those lovely grooves and they hollered at her. J pipes up, “What was that sound?”

“Road noise,” I answered him.

“What?” he questioned again.

“Road noise.”

“Road monkeys?”

Happy Birthday, J! Thanks for 9 years of giggles!

PS vs BS

The kids were watching a video tonight, during which one of the characters prayed a simple prayer. After the “amen” her friend wanted to add something else. She said “P.S.” and added her part.

This sets J’s mind to work. What does “P.S” mean? I do my best to explain it to a child of the computer age. Then he throws me a curb ball – What does “P.S” mean when Daddy used it and he didn’t believe what that guy was saying?

My mind scrambles… and lands on a Christmas shopping trip. We ran into a guy T works with. They start messing with each other as only men can do… At one point T says to his buddy, right in front of J, “B. S.!!”

I’m NOT Ready

Let me tell you about my afternoon… or rather the picking up of my children from their various classes…

It started with my sweet S… One of her teachers is always by the door to call the children from their play when the parents arrive to pick them up. Today it was Mrs. W. She looked at me with this look… I’m not even sure there are words… somewhere between frustration and laughter… “S was very restless at nap time today.” This does not surprise me, as she is trying VERY hard to never nap again – I mean she is almost 4, which in her mind means something like 40! Mrs. W went on, “So I told her I was very disappointed in her.” Oh no. “Then the school director, Mrs. S, walked in, and S looks at her and says, ‘Mrs. W is very important with me today.”

So off we go to get the boys. Once they are safely tucked into the back of the van, we head home. The conversation that started… oh, I’m not really even sure how it happened. Here’s what I can put together… G announces he found a “seed” and he wants to plant it. Grandma M and I ask what kind… he doesn’t know. Suggestions for the type of seed it may be start flying about the van. S’s suggestion is it could the kind that “grows a person.” Funny. But wait, there’s more:

J, my sweet 3rd grader, begins to tell my 3 year old just why that’s not possible: “You know how we get people, S? When a woman loves a man…” (I am beginning to sweat here) “and they are going to get married…” (I am trying VERY hard not to laugh) “the first time they kiss, his DNA goes into her and finds her DNA. And that’s where we get babies.”

G says, “That’s not right”

J: “I’m in 3rd grade, I know.”

G: “Can we plant the seed?” – Uh… the POPCORN kernel????

img_0735 J, G, and S with the Grinch at Christmas.

Movie Goers

We got to go to a movie – together – for the first time in what feels like years (I know it’s only been a couple of months since we’ve had a true date night, but with four kids, time is multiplied!). After dinner with some new friends, and some running around, just the two of us, we took in a late movie (I’m only good for those about once every 6-12 months), and another one of our friends, TM, (who’s wife is out of town) joined us.

We got in, found some seats and settled back. I asked T where TM was… don’t know was the answer. Previews start… where’s TM? I don’t know… Finally T picks up his phone, and starts to call TM, when he walks in. He starts to tell us what happened, and the movie started…

Two hours and a good movie later, I turned to TM… so you were in the wrong theater? Yes, seems he read the price of the movie, and headed into theater 9 (we were in number 5). He looked around and spotted a couple he thought was us. He slid into the seat next to said female and leans in to give her a hug. She turns to him, eyes bugging out of her head in shock and horror – she does not know this man trying to HUG her!!!! TM suddenly realizes it’s not me and scoots over to the next seat. He turns to the screen… only to find he is in a chick flick instead of the sci fi we were seeing!

Next time someone tries to hug you in a movie… tell him he’s in the wrong theater!

Name Game

My brother, DM, and his wife, LM, are expecting their second child. This leads to those lovely discussions of what to name the new baby. Their son, SM, will be six around the time the new baby makes the first appearance. This sweet boy LOVES to have his cousins around, or any kids for that matter, so he is VERY excited about the new baby. He loves to read to the new baby right now.

While looking at names, DM picked a Russian name as a possibility if the new baby is a little girl, Svetlana. He likes the way it sounds… until, that is, they asked SM to say the new name. A six year old’s rendition? Spitslotta.

img_0670 G, SM, J together for Thanksgiving.

Tooty Fruity Funny

Last night at dinner we had the normal chaos that comes with four kids under 10… these kids crack me up.

T fixed dinner, and one of the things we had was broccoli. He likes to eat his with lemon juice. Monkey see, monkey do… G poured it over everything on his plate, J on his broccoli, and S on hers. The boys like it… S not so much.

“Ewww, this makes the broccoli stinky.”

Ever the five year old BOY, G says, “Stinky like your toots???” and breaks into hysterical laughter.

Ever the sassy one, S looked at him VERY seriously… “MY toots don’t stink… MY toots are FUNNY!”